Smarty Pants: Long Practice the Molly at Carson City Yoga: March 18, 2018

One of the greatest paradoxes of the physical senses is that the eyes actually show you what you believe, not what you see --Notes From The Universe

If there's one theme I've been trying to communicate is how to be at home in our own heart at all times, even when outward life appears uncertain and unstable. Its a daily practice, particularly useful while on a rock n roll tour, hence I've become an expert of sorts on the subject. A real smarty pants. It feels like I'm actually getting some mastery in the practice, and then suddenly, when I find myself home in Carson City, we decide to sell our house. We'd thought we'd easily transition up the road to The Biggest Little City, but the house we thought we'd buy didn't turn out to be as wonderful as it looked online. So our plans to move are now dashed and I find myself homeless of sorts because Hawaii doesn't count.

I"m a little out of sorts because of all this. Me, little Ms. Smarty Pants Let's Be At Home In Our Own Hearts. My usual practices are helping me stay out of panic attacks but just barely. The medicine is working but her powers feel weakened. I'm looking around this amazingly gorgeous home in the Sierras, and all I see is the love that made it a home. Moving here with David was a huge transition in our relationship and our business, both of which took a major leap forward.

I can no longer see the extreme amount of maintenance and hours I've spent in the 2.2 acres of manicured gardens and the thousands of dollars I've spent, mainly on trying to tame the landscaping and effects of harsh sun, wind, and snow. The wood decks and accents that need staining every year, the pavers that have to be dug up and roots of mighty oak trees shaved down. I started with little gentlewoman clippers and now own my very own chainsaw, which I use on an almost daily basis in the spring and summer when I'm here in addition to paying a crew of gardeners.

And that's just the grounds.

It seemed so smart to move. I had it all figured out.

The Upanishads say, "those that don't know suffer. But those who think they know everything suffer even more".

I'm grateful for a long, slow practice with Molly today because finding home in my own body is the only place I can go at the moment to feel any peace. That and a hint of knowing after years of practice that more will be revealed if I just stay centered. Such alignment is fundamental to any spiritual practice, and it is also the most advanced. So today I'm practicing at the highest level I possibly can, which is harder to do than it sounds when the ground is no longer seemingly stable.

Health, Love, and Rock N Roll,

Winifred