The Slow Process Of Moving In with Shanai at Yoga Loka, Reno, Nevada: June 1, 2018
Well, my bike moved in at least. This remodel is taking what feels like forever and where is my yoga now?
The process of remodel and moving in is taking what feels like forever. As I sit in a long yin practice, the poses seem to take an eternity. It hurts more than usual, I can't wait for it to be over, and I just want to ditch the whole class. These are not useful alignments for a yoga practice, and not helpful at all when remodeling. The relationship I'm having with my poses is the relationship I'm having with the remodel.
One of the purposes of yoga is to bring more visible the invisible. On the surface I'm patient and kind, until it hits a certain level of pain and I'm angry, impatient, weary, and hate my current situation. It is said by sages that seeing the invisible changes everything and is the medicine for all suffering. It tastes like a bitter pill today.
Moving in, whether it be in a house or in my body is a tricky venture. The tendency of the mind is up and out, the practices of yoga bring us down and in. There are maps of inner space, like chakras and meridians, and ever since I first step foot in a yoga class in 2003 I've been in relationship with them, cultivating a rich journey into my own inner workings. I think what scares me the worst about being so cantankerous about moving in is that I know somewhere deep inside I'm having the same relationship with my own self. I can feel myself brush up against anger and it feels so spicy it burns my eyes.
Facing anger is new for me. Anger isn't for nice girls. Anger isn't pretty. Anger isn't spiritual. These insights only enrage me further. It tugs at the threads of my belief system for I know on a deeper level these rules are stale and old. But to do the hard work of moving in to dismantle this untruth while my homebase is in disarray feels exceptionally vulnerable. So today I pack it all away onto my lengthy to do list, right under buy a faucet for the powder room sink.
The asana practice, in particular the yin practice, is so helpful for us to see more clearly what the mind is thinking because the body slows us down. And since connection is happening everywhere and all the time our mind can slow down enough for us to actually see what's going on in our thoughts and emotions. Sometimes seeing the dysfunction happening in the mind is way more painful that what's happening in our knees and hips, shoulders and hearts. Today I see clearly that I want a quick fix to happiness and grace, beauty and peace, and to be fabulous, amazing, and worry-free. If there's anything I'm learning, its that moving in with grace is fodder for the highest practices of yoga. Impatience feels like a 8th deadly sin.
David bought me a bike today. I've been wanting one to help clear my head and I've gotten used to doing errands on a bike in Maui. But for Reno I chose a commuter bike with pedal assist. There are mountains and hills around here, and I don't want that to stop me from my love of riding. It was a soothing of my ego to bow to a pedal assist, but once I took the test ride I realized a little help from beyond was a good thing. The technology has arrived, it feels really good, these stunning mountains are calling my name to climb. its a relationship with my own strength and my desire to see greater vistas. This bike is the perfect package to do that and help me work on my practice of my own skills combined with calling in help when I need it. I admit my body needs it most of the time.
I parked my bike into my what is becoming a lovely living room and moved her in, all along calling to the great beyond for a pedal assist of a cosmic nature, to help me on my slow journey of moving in to my own body and my own brand new townhouse.
Health, Love, and Rock N Roll
Meridian maps of inner space are fascinating and beautiful and I'm praying today to move in to my own body and to my new townhouse with grace to see these deep Truths.