Stability. Yoga at Fisher Island Club: Fisher Island, FL: February 7, 2019

Me and Mr. Grounded lunching at Fisher Island.

I've been cheating on yoga by going to pilates. I’ve resisted for years but got drawn in by love, of course, not of pilates per se, but of my friend Elise, who teaches in Maui. I started attending her three-a week classes towards the end of my stay on the island initially because I wanted to spend more time with her. I didn't expect to like the practice so much. But miracles happen when you have a beginner's mind, and even bigger awakenings with a beginner's heart. My the middle of the second class somewhere in mid-side crunch I felt a pop in my low back from a tight spot I’ve been trying to release all winter. I’ve been a fan of mat pilates ever since.

Today I attended a barre/pilates/cardio class, which I loved, and then finally, I mean its been two whole days without yoga, a yoga class happened. Nirvana. I’ve missed yoga like I miss cool fresh water on a hot summer afternoon. And what was her main teaching today? Stability. Of course. For so many years I used the practice to fall apart but I’ve recently wanted to rebuild, from the ground which I’ve learned to love and trust so I can better walk around in this world with my heart open, uncluttered by false beliefs I’m not held, loved and supported. Its been, and continues to be, a long hard practice but like all practice, it does get easier in time and it feels oh-so-good.

Courage , faith and self-confidence are getting tested all the time nowadays. Lessons in stability are coming at me, including showing up in yoga because my heart has been calling for her. The universe always answers our call for help, which is why I try to be aware of what I'm calling in.

I've been depending on David for a certain amount of stability. It makes sense, just look at him. He's a kapha type, grounded, sensible, practical, all those things that I'm not so great at but am desiring to become. Like all relationships, the longer you're with them, the more is revealed, and David, bless his big, stout heart, is very mobile, agile even. He's a touring artist, obviously enough. His artistic leanings slide from one point of interest to another, and he changes his mind. A lot. This causes some mischief between us. Some days I'm not sure what I’m going to get because he’ll get stuck on something, and then the next it will be gone and fixated on another.

Because I'm a flexie and more air than earth by nature, my recent job is to find my own ground. Yoga helps me do that, in ways big and small. Today it was the simple , teeny act of bringing my attention to my inner thighs, energetically pulling them in to center and rolling them behind. My spine extended 6 inches, or so it felt.

The bigger shift was the message to keep going, keep working at it. Come back to my own center over and over and do what’s right in front of me that makes my heart shine.

So after class I met David for a quinoi-kale salad and came back to our bunglow to write this blog. I’ve been working on my book since 7.34 AM and am ready to pick it up back up as soon as I hit this publish button. I’m making a stand, a solid effort to remember I am steady and strong, and if I keep practicing stability in all her many forms, one day I'll wake up and feel my own two feet on the earth and realize in an instant my legs, hips, and heart are connected. That feels like a woman in her power.

But for now, I’ll continue to practice yoga classes. And I’m quitting thinking I’m cheating on her with pilates because that’s not true. Its yoga that taught me, after all, how to take care of myself and lights the path both on and off the mat. I don’t really think she minds I’m doing some pilates on the side, at all. In fact I think she’s probably giving me a cosmic high-five.

Health, Love, and Rock N Roll