Turning of the Heart with Christina at PS108: Bedminster, NJ: March 8, 2016
Christina Wypejewska at PS108
I lovie dove this yoga studio in Bedminster. Its a converted schoolhouse built in 1815 and it has a cool cemetery next door. For some reason I have unusually deep practices next when in in close range to graveyards.
Cynthia, our teacher today, translated pavrita as "the turning of the heart". Twists like pavrita ardha chandrasana took on a new awareness with a turning of the heart translation. Coming out of a bad case of the flu all the twists in class had a special kick for sure, but there was something deeper I couldn't really peg on the flu.
A turning of the heart, in earnest, is hard because it requires a letting go of a certain comfort zone. It seems I'm always working on letting so and surrender, and likely will be for the rest of my life. But the strength of the ego is a force to be reckoned with. There's a part of me that always wonders if I'm where I"m supposed to be even though the teachings always say we are.
There's a part of me that wants to be beside an ocean and I dream of living in Malibu. None of this is helpful in twists, of course.
Where is the line between living the life of your dreams, and honoring the path that's right in front of you?
Winter tour runs are tough because, its winter. I've been cold since I left Nevada three months ago, and it was snowing in Nevada. Throw a few rounds of flu in the mix, and really, it just can all be way too much.
Yet the work at hand feels big. Not the work of the tour and our business strategy, but the work of relationship. We are not married but learning to love "for richer, for poorer, in sickness, and in heath" is way hard. When I look at the turnings of my own heart I can see that is what I continually am tempted to bail out of. Sometimes it seems my path to the ocean is better forged alone.
In savasana, in that old schoolhouse, after many twists in class and in life it became clear that at this moment, my schooling in relationships is not done. Not even close. And with that I felt my heart turn a little less small, and a little less cold.
Namaste.